


darling, let the sun in

by lovejunkie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, LGBTQ Character, Light Angst, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Possibly Unrequited Love, Reader-Insert, References to Depression, Self-Insert, Songfic, a little slow paced, i highly recommend listening to each tracks plssss, is that enough mentions of angst, jeon wonwoo is a sad boi, kpop, long-ish, quite descriptive lol its just my style sorry, wallows - Freeform, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovejunkie/pseuds/lovejunkie
Summary: help me darling now i'm feeling lonely,help me darling now i feel afraid /with you i see the world completely different,with you i need no place to hide.(wherein jeon wonwoo, cold and forlorn, living a very unfulfilling life, in need of all the warmth in the world, meets her - the warmest, brightest person to ever grace the earth.yet, some things are truly just meant to be opposites - even science itself would rather keep the cold and the heat apart.)a 6-chapter story, loosely based off of each 6 songs in "spring ep" by wallows.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Original Character(s), Jeon Wonwoo/Original Female Character(s), Jeon Wonwoo/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	darling, let the sun in

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i finally decided to post this hhhhh
> 
> please read the tags! i really recommend listening to the songs on the titles of each chapter!
> 
> find my poetry at hellopoetry.com/yikes
> 
> feel free to leave kudos & comments!
> 
> \- ♡

track one; ground 

🎮

it’s five o’clock in the afternoon, the night just beginning to creep unto the corners of the windowsills. the final tinge of orange light from the golden hour peeks through the blinds and into the cozy room, illuminating the boy’s skin and hitting the corner of his eyes.

sunlight has never been a friend to jeon wonwoo. with a complications with his sight (not to mention his vision that’s far from 20/20) and skin that turns red after merely twenty minutes of being exposed to the sun, never in his life has he truly enjoyed the summer weather, nor does he really want to, anyway.

he sighs and gets up from his unkempt bed to shut the blinds completely, keeping his room as dim as he would like - which means, of course, that he doesn’t let any sunlight in at all.

he adjusts the pillow from behind his back to allow himself to sit a little more comfortably, and grabs the controller once again - his long, slender fingers pressing repeated patterns onto the buttons, his sharp eyes focusing on the screen in front of him, bottom lip captured in between his teeth in anticipation. with the orange glow of the sun now out of his sight, he continues to put every ounce of his focus into his video games for hours and hours until the glow of the golden hour has faded and the night had fully enveloped the skies.

this has been a constant routine for jeon wonwoo.

ever since school had come to an end, all he has been doing is a cycle - eat, play video games, sleep, play some more, and it replays like a broken record.

boring, one might think, and as does literally all of his friends say, but wonwoo would rather remain in the comfort of his home than have to do “fun” (which are in reality, very exhausting) activities with his friends that have endless supply of energy in their bodies. unfortunately, wonwoo has little to no energy when it comes to such things. sure, he’d go out with them to the mall every once in a while, but simply eating out was nowhere near what his friends would want to spend their vacation doing, and wonwoo hated them for it.

with a final glide of this thumb across the joystick and a thrilled whisper of “yes” under his breath, the screen flashes the word “victory” in bright red colors; and he manages to win another game, yet again, among many others.

much to wonwoo’s surprise, his phone lying on the bedside drawer lit up just as the game finished. it was a call from mingyu, one of his long-time friends that could also fall under ‘ones with endless energy’. he hesitantly picks up, sighing, already knowing damn well mingyu would pester him to stop just sitting around playing video games all day.

“wonwoo,” mingyu’s voice booms from the other line.

“yeah? whats up?”

“you’re playing games again, aren’t you?” and there it is, just as wonwoo thought, his friend mentioning his video game addiction once again. mingyu’s voice sounds chiding, and wonwoo can just imagine the younger shaking his head.

“when am i not,” wonwoo just said in monotony, earning an annoyed huff from mingyu which wonwoo just laughs at, as he sets his controller down near the tv and turns the console off. and before mingyu can complain and pester him any further, he tells him, “i just finished.”

“let’s go out tomorrow,”

“nah.” wonwoo immediately responds.

“c’mon, vernon and seungcheol have their day off tomorrow. it’ll be fun.” 

wonwoo actually thinks for a moment. he hasn’t seen his other friends for a while, but he really did not want to go out with them. chances are, they’d either drag him along their embarrassing antics, or plan exhausting activities that are way out of wonwoo’s comfort zone.

“where are we going, though?”

“i don’t know yet.”

“then no.” wonwoo says defiantly, flopping onto his bed.

“hey, c’mon wons!” mingyu whines, like a damn puppy, and wonwoo thanks the heavens mingyu wasn’t actually here with him, as he knows mingyu would definitely be pulling on his arm like a little kid right this moment if he was able to. “it would probably just be chill, those guys are probably too tired from work to do crazy shit anyway. please?”

‘ah how annoying’ wonwoo whispers silently. “god, fine, you’ll never hop off my back if i say no.” he finally sighs in defeat, and mingyu cheers, quite obviously delighted from what he's hearing.

“hell yeah, thank you! it’s nice knowing you still can’t say no to me,” mingyu laughs and wonwoo just sighs. "yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“see you tomorrow then! it’s gonna be fun!”

they bid their goodbyes, - finally, might wonwoo add - and needless to say, he hated kim mingyu for swaying him to go outside once again. he dreaded tomorrow like a it was a bright, warm sunny day at the beach; and that is, for a jeon wonwoo, very dreadful indeed.

wonwoo made his way to the mall's entrance where his friends have agreed to meet up, and spots an all too familiar figure wearing a tye-dye shirt and a beanie. he recognizes it as vernon, who looks up from his phone after wonwoo calls his name and immediately greets him with a handshake and a small hug. wonwoo hasn't seen him for about three weeks, and though he would definitely hate to say it out loud (especially to mingyu), he admits to himself that it does feel pretty nice to see one of his buddies again.

it was like a breath of fresh air; a nice little change from his customary dwelling in his room that has almost never even encountered fresh air at all.

"how've you been man?" vernon asks him, beaming ever so brightly. wonwoo was a bit taken aback for a second - he wasn't quite sure if he was just imagining it, but vernon seemed a little… happier. more than he normally is.

"just the usual," wonwoo simply replies, and vernon squinted at him a little as if he was expecting wonwoo to elaborate, or at least mention that he's been doing fine recently. but he didn't.

wonwoo felt like he didn't really have anything much to tell him. he figured that vernon already knows that he's still living his typical 'boring' stay-at-home-and-play-video-games-all-day life anyway, and that he didn't have the need to bring something so uninteresting up. it would be a pain to mention too, anyways, as he knew for sure that he would receive a lot of disapproving headshakes from his friends.

vernon wanted to ask further, but wonwoo already asks, "how 'bout you? busy with work?"

vernon is a little confused about wonwoo’s vague answer, but he still answers wonwoo by shaking his head. "i am quite busy, actually. today is just one of the few days i could take a little time off."

"oh. that must suck huh?"

"you know what? not really," vernon looks at wonwoo, a bright smile still plastered on his face. "i love my job right now. i get to travel sometimes, all the while doing what i really like. it's pretty cool."

wonwoo nods along and listens intently as vernon proceeds to tell him about a fun trip he went to last week, and how much he enjoys his job - wonwoo could notice how his eyes light up as he talks about their company's flight to a conference abroad, how amazing the food there was, and how even though it was a legitimate paying position, vernon enjoyed it so much that he barely even sees it as a job anymore.

oh, wonwoo thinks, after hearing all the great things vernon has been spending the summer doing; wonwoo realizes that his previous thought was correct. anyone with eyes could definitely notice that vernon is indeed doing great. vernon was always a chill person that's seemingly always in a pleasant mood, but today, he seems significantly happier than he usually is. his smiles, the way he talked, his aura - it was almost like they had more color than his vibrant tie-dye shirt.

wonwoo didn't know why, but for some odd reason, that made his heart sink a little.

they continued chatting for a while, walking back and forth near the mall's entrance just to kill time while their other friends are taking their sweet time to get there. wonwoo couldn’t tell just yet that he regrets letting mingyu force him to come, as everything so far has been going well, but the fact that wonwoo would rather play video games at home than walk around at the mall is still a well known truth.

seungcheol and mingyu finally decided to show up. they waved at each other, wide smiles among every face, bro-handshakes happening here and there. mingyu, still - and probably always will be - his usual self filled with unwavering energy, and seungcheol, still a bright soul - still the kind heart that finds joy in everything.

wonwoo gazes upon his friends that he hasn’t seen for so long. everyone looked happy - their eyes crinkled, their radiating smiles could reach their ears, sharing hearty laughter - it was almost as if they never spent time apart. wonwoo thought it was a priceless sight. he felt… delighted. jeon wonwoo felt genuinely happy.

they sat at a restaurant that mingyu decided to take them to for a while. knowing mingyu, wonwoo thought it was probably a restaurant that he saw on people’s pretty instagram pictures. wonwoo didn’t mind - he was standing with vernon for quite some time anyway, he thought it would be nice to just sit around and catch up with his friends for a while, be it in a restaurant that they only went to for the aesthetic.

"finally had a day off today, huh?" wonwoo asks seungcheol as they sat down on the fancy-looking cushioned chairs. the whole restaurant had a rich ambiance to it - chandelier hanging over their head, fancy silverware and wine glasses in front of them - at this point, there is no doubt that mingyu only saw this on some aesthetic hashtag on instagram.

"ah, i wouldn't call it a day off," cheol starts, drifting his eyes from the menu to glance at wonwoo. "but i don't know, i just felt like taking a break from the gym for today." 

"gym? what about your job at the shop?”

“i’ve only got shifts five days a week at maximum, so the rest of my time i just spend at the gym lately,” cheol smiles at wonwoo.

wonwoo almost gapes at seungcheol upon hearing this, as he slowly comes to the realization that he, indeed, hasn’t hung out with his friends so long that he missed out on such important things going on in his friends’ lives. he manages to nod, despite the growing uneasiness in his stomach. 

"yo, wonwoo, his routine's crazy," vernon joins their conversation, laughing, "haven't you noticed those guns?" vernon points at seungcheol's biceps and seungcheol playfully hits him, laughing and shaking his head in slight embarrassment.

wonwoo unconsciously eyes seungcheol’s body upon hearing so. it was indeed evident - seungcheol looked a little more masculine, his biceps are more impressive that it used to be.

maybe he was wrong; maybe he was just imagining it - but wonwoo thought seungcheol is becoming a little more sure of himself. whether it was the confidence that his apparently-regular working out brought about, or maybe just the fact that he just looked more masculine from doing so. thinking about it, the uneasiness within his stomach grew and grew further.

seungcheol talked about his routine in the gym, with wonwoo listening and nodding along, asking cheol a few questions about working out. wonwoo isn’t interested in going to the gym - definitely not - but the more wonwoo asked, the bigger cheol’s smile seemed to be. his eyes sparkled when he shared a story about his first time doing weights, his smile looked very genuine to wonwoo's eyes. he could definitely tell that going to the gym made his friend happy.

and just like what happened after hearing about vernon earlier this day, he felt something in his chest after noticing these things.

wonwoo’s heart sank a little once again.

wonwoo still didn't know why - maybe it was envy from the fact that he felt a little out of the loop about the happenings within his circle of friends’ lives; maybe it was envy from hearing such amazing things from them.

but one thing is for sure: he did not like the way it felt.

either way, wonwoo sighs lightly, composing himself. he knew as much that it was best to just not think about it. he refuses to let something so trivial ruin this day with his friends.

they began to eat, sharing more stories back and forth, sharing laughter, taking pictures and overall having a good time. wonwoo had missed them. so much so, that he feels like he hasn't smiled that much in a long time. his cheeks even began to hurt at one point.

they decided to spend the whole day at the mall right after, with mingyu pulling vernon from clothing store to clothing store in hopes to give him alternatives to wear aside from his tye-dye shirts and hoodies, and cheol being pulled behind wonwoo to the video game shops as the younger looks for a specific game. and of course, just as expected, he received so much scolding from his friends about his video game addiction again. wonwoo just laughed whenever they said anything about it, and didn’t even bother to deny what they were telling him. wonwoo couldn’t care less. with a total of $50 he spent at the video game shop, he felt excited to come home with a new game to waste his time on.

though having spent a few hours at the mall, the sinking feeling in wonwoo’s chest is still there; it never left from when it first appeared. but being with his friends distracted him from it - he had been distracted even from the moment vernon and seungcheol decided to have an arm wrestling contest in hopes to ‘test if cheol’s bicep curls have been working’, which of course, ended up in vernon’s immediate loss; he had completely forgotten that the feeling in his chest was there the moment mingyu accidentally ordered too much food, in which his friends dared him to eat it all for himself.

and now, the time is 8 pm, wonwoo is already so exhausted from walking around, body hurting from all the things he did with his friends. he was right - those children really did have endless energy. it was almost as if they didn’t have 12-hour jobs or high-intensity gym sessions the very next day. thankfully, wonwoo actually had quite a good amount of energy in him before today which let him at least join in their fun. the last thing he’d want is to be the “killjoy” in their group, although he is convinced that he already is.

currently, wonwoo is sitting across from mingyu in a quite dim-lighted bistro, where they both have a beer in hand - only a light one, as mingyu still had to drive home - and just unwinding after having a long, quite tiring day.

vernon and cheol had already left earlier since they had work the next day, and wonwoo wanted to leave with them too, but mingyu’s charm managed to work on him again - mingyu was able to convince wonwoo to stay for a while.

it might seem like he despises when mingyu forces him to go out most of the time, but he was actually quite grateful that mingyu still invited him to stay.

“gyu, finish your food,” wonwoo points at mingyu’s half-done plate using his fork. mingyu shakes his head, rubbing his stomach, saying “dude, i really can’t. you guys made me finish a serving for 3 people. i’m still full from all that crap.”

wonwoo just laughed at mingyu’s distress and the younger scowls at him, pushing his plate towards wonwoo. “you eat it. you look like you need more meat in your body.”

“i don’t need ‘more meat in my body’. i already finished my food.” wonwoo retorts.

mingyu sighs and shakes his head in disapproval. “dude, seriously, look at you,” mingyu’s voice sounded a little more serious and he looks directly at wonwoo. “you were already thin the last time i saw you, and you’re even thinner now.” just when wonwoo thought he was safe from scolding for today.

“you guys nag at me too much,” wonwoo crosses his arms, also sighing, before taking a sip of his beer. “i’m fine, seriously. you just haven’t seen me in a while, that’s why.”

mingyu looks out through the window of the bistro. the night had already fallen, the half moon is shining through the dark clouds, a few stars scatter across the sky. he ponders about how to tell wonwoo that they’re just worried about him without sounding too ‘naggy’. mingyu knows wonwoo hates when his friends are like that to him - but he just wanted to at least make him realize that they don’t just do it to mess with him. they really do care about their friend.

“we just… care about you.” mingyu finally utters. then there was silence. wonwoo didn’t know why and how the atmosphere suddenly turned this serious. but it did - and suddenly he’s feeling uneasiness grow in his stomach once again.

“i know that.” wonwoo simply replies. he didn’t know what else to say. what mingyu said wasn’t all that grand, and he really did know that his friends cared about him. yet hearing it from mingyu like this, feeling the gravity that his words had upon the atmosphere - it made him a little overwhelmed.

“wonwoo… you know what i mean. we noticed you haven’t been in your spirits lately. i’m sure you notice that yourself.” mingyu says, slowly, as he didn’t want to use the wrong words. wonwoo felt his heart throb louder and louder. has mingyu really been thinking that?

“hey, mingyu.” wonwoo calls out to mingyu, who then looks at him. “i know it’s not quite obvious, but i do take care of myself. i know you guys are just… worried, and i appreciate that. but i really am doing okay. and whenever i do find myself ‘losing my spirits’, i try my best still. for all of you. for me.”

“i’m not worth losing you guys’ minds over,” wonwoo continues and pauses, glancing at mingyu and lifting a fork to point at him. “you already have none of that, mingyu,” wonwoo adds with a smile, and mingyu just shakes his head at wonwoo’s audacity to crack a joke at this time.

from hearing what wonwoo said, mingyu feels a bit assured. not completely, of course, as for all he knows, wonwoo might just be making excuses with him again. yet he chooses to let it go just this time. “you know what, if that’s what you say so. i’ll trust you for now.” is what he just says, and wonwoo smiles at that.

“c’mon, you can trust me.” wonwoo says. he knew what he said had no backbone at all. it might’ve been a lie. but he needs to have mingyu trust him just this moment.

though he feels his heart sinking.

“yeah, yeah, i do. but that doesn’t mean i won’t call you out if i see you being miserable again, alright?”

wonwoo sighs. “sometimes i forget who the younger one here is,” he states and they both laugh. and with that, the atmosphere was light again. mingyu, with his wide, toothy grin, and wonwoo with his slightly scrunched up nose. wonwoo felt nice and grateful - to his friends and especially to mingyu who just had the right words to say. they clink their beer together and stayed in the bistro until the late hour. wonwoo was happy.

then it was time to go home. mingyu and wonwoo were in mingyu’s car, wonwoo about to be dropped off in his apartment.

“thank you,” wonwoo tells mingyu suddenly. mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion upon hearing wonwoo say those words… and he sounds quite genuine, at that. “for what?”

“i had fun today.” wonwoo says quietly, with a shy smile. mingyu smiles, first a small, delighted smile, growing into a wide grin, until he manages to let out a chuckle. 

“of course you would. have you forgotten who your friends are?” mingyu elbows wonwoo, wide smile still apparent. wonwoo was smiling widely now too, and he shakes his head.

“now give me a few weeks to fully sink back into my bed until you force me to go out again.” wonwoo leans back on the car seat and mingyu groans, hitting wonwoo in the arm using his free hand. they share their last hearty laughter of the day and the night grows further into the sky.

🎮

a week has passed since the time mingyu, seungcheol, vernon and wonwoo spent together. jeon wonwoo, unsurprisingly, is sat on his couch, controller in hand. he absentmindedly presses on the buttons - his mind flying off to last week's events. 'this week has passed by so slowly', he thinks, and there was some pit inside his stomach that never seemed to leave since then. he sighs heavily, mind slowly getting clouded by such intrusive thoughts, brain shutting down bit by bit. 

wonwoo drops the controller and grabs at his hair. voices start to flood his head. alone. empty. _ alone. _ _ empty. _ so fucking lonely.

jeon wonwoo suddenly realizes - through the happy words uttered by his friends last week talking about their fulfilling lives. through the pit that started to take place in his stomach upon seeing that his friends aren't rotting away in his room like him. through the reminiscent feeling of being with his people once again, and the fact that time draining all their youth away changed a lot of things. it all comes flooding at his brain and at once, with rugged breath and throbbing heart - he begins to accept the truth.

jeon wonwoo is lonely. oh so fucking lonely.

and he didn't know what to do about it.

to be continued.


End file.
